Wedding: June 20, 2004, Allison Bacon and Aaron Jenks!
In August of 2003, Allison Bacon finally decided she was ready to marry Aaron Jenks. "Why not tell him this news by asking him to marry me?" she thought. That's exactly what happened.
Shortly after their announcement of their engagement, wedding plans began. Mom and Dad (myself and my husband Barry) discussed how much money this affair would take, while Allison and Aaron started putting some thoughts together as to what they wanted for their special day. Bridal magazines were purchased, web sites investigated, wedding dresses were shopped for. Allison and I had a great time together dreaming and planning. Allison started a binder of all the ideas she gathered along the way. Into the binder went wedding dress ideas, flower pictures, hair piece ideas, fabric swatches, and a little bit of humor, characteristic of our girl Allison.
For many years (since her senior project of planning a wedding), Allison had expressed a desire to get married on our favorite hill on our property - a place where we had dreamed for years to put a house. We began preparing the knapp-weed-covered hill for the impending nuptials by moving dirt and rocks with Barry's caterpillar (Allison learned to drive it and helped with this process), removing weeds, and planting grass. One huge problem stood in our way, however: access through 400 feet of state land. I had been patiently working on securing access through this piece of land for 12 1/2 years, and just weeks after the engagement was announced, the easement was ours!
Within hours (literally) after the easement was signed by the state commissioner of public lands, the road was begun, and within a few days, a well was drilled. We began planning in earnest to build a bike hostel/shop near the wedding site (the bike hostel was the "draw" that finally got us our access). By March, we had a road, water, electricity, and phone to the building site and we broke ground for the building.
During this time, Allison, Aaron, and I continued to plan the wedding. We decided to give them a set amount of money that they could use as they saw fit, and started writing checks! Allison contacted attendants, found a florist, chose flowers, arranged for a photographer, and finally found her dress. Aaron helped with many of the preparations and decisions, and eventually took over some of the planning - including a few surprises for Allison.
Throughout the planning time, Allison and I communicated by phone and email (see sample emails below) about wedding plans. I took over most of the reception planning, and a relative offered to help cater the food. (See budget and other documentation below.) Barry worked on producing a family memory video, complete with original songs he had written for Allison and other children of ours.
As of this writing, the wedding is less than two weeks away. As we get pictures of the actual event, I will include them.
The Leadership faculty at Andrews University have determined that a leader should be able to "allocate resources" competently. When one things of "resources," perhaps the first thing that comes to mind is money. But upon further reflection, one realizes that "recourses" is a broader concept, and includes the means to accomplish a task. Dictionary.com defines resources as "Something that can be used for support or help." Yes, finances can "support or help" - but so can staff, so can organizational structures, so can board members. Goleman talks about resources in a way that applies both to finances and structures when he says, "Resources must be dedicated to the teams, and in particular people need to be released, to some extent, from normal duties to work on the projects" (Primal Leadership 237). This section on "Action Learning" has many applications to this wedding project. While no one was exactly "released" from normal duties to work on this project, everyone involved made time to make this event happen. As one of the leaders of this project, I was able (along with my husband) to allocate financial resources to Allison and Aaron to enable them to accomplish the nuts and bolts of purchasing various needed items. But this whole project was one of collaboration: Allison and I communicated about many initial ideas; Aaron and Allison set up a schedule of things to discuss and decide on a week-by-week basis; the reception coordinator and I communicated about the resources (finances, structures [tables, serving dishes, personnel, etc]) necessary for the reception. The new leadership is NOT one of domineering individuals pushing their own agenda onto unwilling subordinates. Leadership - the NEW leadership - is much more about collaborating relationships. Wheatley talks about relationships in leadership and connects them to quantum physics. Goleman talks about relationships in leadership and discusses it in terms of emotional intelligence. Powel talks about relationships in leadership and believes that is it important for a leader to be available in a true and meaningful way to the subordinates. So...can a leader allocate resources without taking into account collaboration based on relationships? I think not. Fortunately, in our home relationships are strong, and collaboration was evident as many leaders worked together, allocating all the resources necessary to make a dream wedding day become a reality.
Attendants dress possibilities (Allison wanted them to be able to choose their own dress rather than have everyone buy the same thing).
Sample email communication:
|Allison - have you figured out the date situation for
the wedding yet? Let me know if there is something I need to do on that.
I just emailed Greg and Ken to tell them it would be June 20 or 27 and that
I would let them know ASAP which one it was. I should get Cyndi and Bruce's
email addresses so I can let them know also.
What did Kandi have to say in her note? I never asked.
Let me know where to meet you at noon on Friday. Northside would seem to be best to start with.
Love you -
|Allison - what do you think of this idea for a wedding
"favor"/table decoration (with the little parasols, the trees,
the palm trees, and small candles)?
|Directions to the wedding site:
From Main Street (Highway 395), take Hawthorne Rd. east up the hill until you reach Miner. Go right on Miner to the T at Garden Homes St. Take a left. Follow Garden Homes as it makes a 90-degree right turn and becomes Graham. Just up the hill, at the Y, take a right onto Hotchkiss Rd. Follow for 3.2 miles to the driveway on your right marked as the wedding site.
Take Hwy 395/Division St. north for 48 miles until you reach Chewelah. From the Chewelah stoplight, proceed 16.7 miles to Arden. Turn right in Arden at the intersection by the Crossroads Tavern (across from the Stimpson lumber mill), onto Hall Rd. After 0.2 miles, turn left onto Old Hwy Arden. 0.5 miles later, turn right onto Artman-Gibson Rd., which you will follow for 4.5 miles. At the intersection of Artman-Gibson and Hotchkiss Rd., take a left and proceed 1.5 miles to the driveway marked as the wedding site.Allison, I will have to check the exact distances from Hall Road to Hotchkiss Road. I think it’s just barely over 4 miles, but a more precise distance would be good. I also don’t know exactly how far it is to the new driveway, but I will get that distance today (I hope). It is almost exactly 3 miles to our current driveway from the beginning of Hotchkiss Road, so I know it isn’t 4 miles to the new driveway. I changed a couple other distances as well. I don’t know the exact distance from Spokane to Chewelah, but you can look that up on www.mapblast.com if you like.
Well, here I am in California. I've had a lot to do lately, as I've
begun shopping for attendant's outfits so I've been looking at online
options, printing some out for Janine and Aaron to look at, etc. Also
I've been looking into getting a decent-sized bell to ring at the end of
the ceremony - wouldn't that be cool? That was Aaron's idea. We have
the little girls ring bells at the beginning, then we ring a big bell at
the end. Maybe it could be like a unity bell and we could both ring it
at once. But I haven't seen anything online that I like yet.
Monday I had an interview with the sport store, and that went alright I
guess. Maybe they'll hire me. I had to do a drug test for the
interview process. At least I know I'll pass that part! Monday I also
went to UCR to visit the test review centers. I talked to the guy at
Princeton Review (reviews for MCAT, SAT, ACT, etc.) and he sounded
really interested and set me up for a formal interview on Friday. He
said they start pay for teachers with a bachelor's at $25/hr, and that
in the summer he could set me up with almost full time work. I told him
my schedule constraints this summer, but also that I'd have a couple
months off next summer. At that rate, I could make almost $8000 next
summer, which would be really nice. Also, he asked if I'd be willing to
work 3-5 hours/week from Oct.-Apr. of the school year. I told him I
could work that in. The extra cash would really help us out. Do you
think it's a good idea? It seemed like it to me. Anyway, I'll find out
more on Friday. I wouldn't start with that job, though, until April.
So in the meantime, I'll try to keep myself busy with wedding plans.
Oh, also I did a bunch of calculations last night for the wedding
reception based on the food prices I got from Costco. Here's my
Bread: 2 slices per person=600 slices.
4 pkg. rosemary/olive oil bread = 15.96
4 pkg. sourdough = 11.96
4 pkg. palm springs bread = 15.80
4 pkg. shepherd bread = 15.80
4 pkg 7-grain orowheat= 15.40
Total bread: 71.88
5 lb. each of gouda, jarlsberg, aged provolone, romano, brie, asiago,
grana padano, emmatalier, dubliner, muenster, cheddar = $273.92. To buy
only the cheaper varieties (and greater quantities) would bring the
price down to $190.
Artichoke hearts = $16.78
Mixed greens (2.99*38 - possibly we could get a better deal) = 113.62
tomatoes = 23.96
Kalamata olives = 29.95
Roquefort Dresing = 79.90
Potato Salad = 85.50
Similar random salad = 85.50
Total salads: 435.21
Mini-desserts and fruits:
12lbs. pears = 9.98
12 lbs. apples = 10.98
2 frozen mixes choc. chip dough = 11.90
4 brownie mixes = 23.56
rice krispies box= 5.69
marshmallows, butter ~ 20?
frozen cream puffs = 152.83
total dessert items: 234.94
13 6pks of orange concentrate: 87.75
2 gal sherbet= 15.58
15 lbs. frozen berries=33.95
total beverage: 137.28
Ideas for small pre-reception favors (during picture-taking while
setting up for reception):
netting around goldfish crackers : crackers only :32.94
netting around sm. choc. covered berries: berries only ~ 85.69
total pre-reception: 118.63
So grand total would be anywhere from $1187.94 to $1370.91, which is
only about $4/person (quite good, and I bet we can cut even more costs
by shopping around)
What do you think of all this?
I have to go to tutor for an hour now. But I'll talk to you later!
love you lots!
|Allison - Here is what I have so far on
a spreadsheet for the reception, based on what you sent me. I have some
holes that need to be filled, such as the cheese prices, but I will look
on the Costco web site and see if they have any prices for anything. I don't
think they do. I'll probably call you in a bit and see if you can fill in
the holes for me. I have formulas set up so that we can change the quantities
of any item and have the totals all change accordingly. That should help
us in planning, budgeting, etc.
I guess I can just show you all of this when we get there, but I wanted to get this to Shari and needed some more information.
I will get this off to Shari soon, and we will continue to talk about plans, etc.
It's snowing right now. I don't expect it will last long as it has been too warm lately. Most of the snow was gone, but will will get at least a dusting today.
Must run get a few other pressing things done. Love you!
|Hey, Mom, do you think I should order any senior pictures?
look at them on the website shown in the attached message?
Here are the people who we hope to accommodate at or around our house:
Johnny and Anni Hisey
Rachel and Charley Coleman
Dave and Danika Skale
Marisa and Brian Ring
Rob and Rachel Fuchs (although we don't know if she's coming, so maybe
Rob will be in the single males category).
So that's it! Including Aaron, Patrick, and me, we have 5 single
females, 5 single males, and 5 couples, or 20 people total! What a
hoot! I think I may have talked Aaron into organizing some guys to cook
us breakfast Friday morning while the girls have a pedicure party (that
would include mothers as well, of course). We'll see.
Here is the information about what the guys are wearing so Patrick can
get some clothes: the shirt is called "Guess Model Shirt" and the pants
are called "Dockers versatile pant", the flat front variety, and in the
black color. The shirt is kindof expensive, and the pants are not so
much, because they are often on sale. If need be we can use some of our
wedding money to help Patrick, as he doesn't have much money and we
helped one of the groomsmen who couldn't afford it - well, actually
Aaron's parents did. So I don't know what to do in this case, but you
can tell me what you think we should do. Oh, yeah, the clothes are
available from macys online, www.macys.com, and also maybe Nordstrom.
You can also look up Dockers online website, where you can't buy them,
but they'll tell you who all sells them and how to reach them. So
hopefully that helps.
I know I have a bunch more stuff I'm supposed to email you about, but I
can't remember it all right now so instead I will go to bed. I love you
lots, Mom. I'll talk to you soon.
|Thanks for the list of woodstock guests. I will print
it and work on sleeping arrangements. Perhaps we could put beds in the barn
and loft area. There won't be any animals in there yet, of course, and everything
will be brand new. Would that work? I could see sleeping 2-3 in each room,
2 in the living room area on a hide-a-bed, and then more downstairs. I thought
the idea was to house all the wedding party in the bike hostel. I guess
if we gave a room to each married couple, and put the 5th married couple
in the loft downstairs or something, that would take care of those 10. Then,
maybe 2-3 girls could sleep in the LR area (2 on the bed, one on the floor),
2 girls could sleep in the barn area, and then 5 guys could have the camper.
That would at least get everyone in the same area. Would that work? That
leaves the house for other guests. Who do you think should stay here? Grandpa
and Grandma, for sure. I don't know about the rest of the Bacon clan plans.
They may be planning on staying here also. That would be a lot of people:
Ken/Deanna (the boys could stay in Kenny's room, perhaps, or Brenden, Kenny, and Paul could camp in a tent!) Aubriann's room (Aubriann could stay with us or something, or she could sleep on the trampoline)
G and G - Your room (with a rented bed? Your bed is in Aubriann's room now)
Cyndi, and whomever else is coming with her (Britney?) - Cortney will be with you guys -Patrick's room.
That leaves the guest room. Could we have that for Betty and Larry? Would they prefer to stay in a motel with some of their relatives? Are there other relatives who need to stay here? We likely have access to Hosey's house as well, which will sleep about 8, they said. We could put the Dickinson clan there, perhaps. That would be just about right, unless more are coming than I think are. I believe it will be Loren/Carolyn, Gary/Liz, Kevin/Kathy/Kathleen, and perhaps Kent/Dee. If Paul and Shirley or any of their boys come, Hosey's house would only hold part of them. Anyway- it's a start! Let's keep discussing this until we have a firm plan. I can write this down on a chart and then we can more names around as need be.
Have to run get some things done quickly before class. Love you - bye.
I hope you had a wonderful and productive weekend. Aaron and I worked
on the apartment some more today, although about half the time we were
at Home Depot picking up some last-minute stuff.
Hey, do you know if the Schaefer girls still want to sing at the
wedding? Can you ask them? Because if they do, I have the song I want
them to sing - it is hymn #655 in the hymnal, with a couple
modifications. I want them to sing the first and last verses, then sing
the following verse which I made up. In other words, the whole thing
would go like this:
Happy the home when God is there
And love fills every breast
With one their wish and one their prayer
and one their heavenly rest
Lord let us in our homes agree
This blessed peace to gain
Unite our hearts in love to thee
And love to all will reign
Now as we a new home begin
Let it be truly thine
Give us thy love that never ends
And grant us joy divine
Do you think that will work? If so can you give them these words ASAP?
I know I should have gotten this done so much sooner, but I'm such a
perfectionist/procrastinator or something, anyway, that I couldn't
decide forever, and couldn't find the "perfect" thing, so I think this
will be great, after much deliberation.
Anyway, call me tomorrow if you get this email or something. I love
sorry for the delayed reply. i had to work in baltimore last week so am very behind. i think
it is early enough to ask people to do specific things. am still working on
quantities. do you think you will have 300 people? are you doing rsvp with
your invitations so you know how many people will come?
a little concerned about having people make salad unless they DON'T put
dressing on the salad, but let me think about it. i have some recipes too
or if you have specific ones that's fine. the crew of ladies on the
morning will be great--and greatly needed, although i'll do my best to put
any spare people to work.
i have the very best punch recipe in the whole world, but will check cost to
see if it is a lot more than just a regular fruit punch. it is completely
fool proof. here's the recipe if you want to try it: 1 can frozen Bacardi
mixer pina colada, 1 can frozen Bacardi mixer strawberry daquiri, 1 2# bag
of ice cubes, 1 2ltr bottle of ginger ale (or sprite, 7up, sierra mix,
walmart brand lemon lime soda). it is the very best. will price it out here
and compare against others. the drawback is it doesn't contain sherbet and
it sounded like allison was interested in that. however, you'll need a
freezer close by for sherbet and it is messier.
i think it is early enough to have people start making any desserts than can
be frozen. also if you want to have cake without the expense of a tiered
wedding cake--could buy a full sheet cake (it serves 96) scored and then can
put plates of cake out with the other desserts too.
do you have prices from your rental place for platters and serving things?
do you have a party rental place right in town? i was hoping marisa would
drive out, but she's going to fly and then i would have sent a bunch of my
stuff with her. haven't talked with anyone else here to find out if someone
is driving. i priced them out at party america and it might be cheaper to
buy them than rent. you could always donate them afterward to your church or
school and take a tax write off. anyway if i can find someone to send a
bunch of stuff with it makes sense to save the money.
checked plates and plastic cutlery prices too--and i'm going to look on the
internet because that might be cheaper. i usually get them from paper
warehouse here. you will need many many 9oz clear plastic glasses. if you
have a party store anywhere close you can return anything that is unopened
after the wedding.
are you thinking of plastic serving spoons?
will you have refrigeration in the building where the reception will be?
will there be a kitchen-type area where food prep can occur in the building?
i think some of the quantity estimates are low (from allison). will do a
little more figuring. punch was one thing. will we be serving any beverages
other than punch? what do you guess the air temp will be? if no other
beverages should figure on 6 glasses of punch per person! i know that seems
like a lot but over a couple of hours time people really do drink that much.
i'll fiddle with the numbers and give you a more firm thing by the end of
okay, that's it for tonight--have to get to bed. by the way, it's a girl!
i know that justin is coming to the wedding but not sure if amy will make
the trip. marisa is coming (of course) but not brian. her dress is
cute--very elegant and simple. we are flying in the morning of the 17th.
talk to you soon.
|Shari - I have been terribly slow in getting this email
off to you. That is primarily because I keep thinking I can get more done
on the Excel spreadsheet I started, etc., and perhaps go through Allison's
emails more thoroughly for details, make a list, etc, etc. None of that
is happening! I am going to Seattle this week for my school's trip, Patrick
may be coming home at the end of this week or sometime next week, I am behind
in my masters work, I have 4 more research papers to assess, I'm trying
to work with Barry on the landscaping both here and on the wedding site,
we are building the shop/bike hostel and I have to get showers, toilets,
make decisions...you get the idea! It's just not happening! So...I am forwarding
Allison's two emails about the reception to you, as well as what I started
with the spreadsheet. I hope you can make heads or tails of it enough to
help with the planning. I think it would be great if one of us (probably
you - but maybe me) could come up with a layout of how the tables could
be arranged. There is a fairly wide open space at the top of the hill where
the wedding and the reception will be. I will try to scan some pictures
for you in the next few days (after I take them and have them developed;
we don't have a digital camera yet) so you can have an idea of what it looks
like up there.
There is a rental place in town where we can rent platters, serving dishes, etc. Allison wants to have the chocolate fountain, but the person she called has not called her back. I may have to check on that. I don't know if I still have the number I gave her. Aha...found it! I'll call the lady tomorrow if I can.
So...here is the beginning of the plan! Read through what Allison has said and see what you can make of it all. I don't think she said in either of these emails that she has decided to use heavy clear (I think clear!) plastic plates for the reception rather than rent dishes. I don't know if she has a final budget amount for this whole thing. I supposed I should ask her. I'll call her and see what she says. I think we were looking at keeping it under $3,000 for everything - but I don't know if that includes the rental chairs for the wedding. They are NOT planning a sit-down reception at this point.
Aaron has an uncle or cousin or something who is also a friend of ours (who used to live in Colville). He lives in Spokane now, but he is in charge of produce at some store, I think. Aaron's folks suggested using him as a resource for fresh, good food at reasonable prices. I'm quite sure he and his family are already planning on coming to the wedding, and perhaps they could either come early with the food, or we could pick it up on Friday.
Time for bed. 5 am comes WAY too early!
Thanks SO much for working on this.
|Allison dear - don't worry about this, but look it over. I'll respond
to her probably tomorrow, and maybe by phone. It will take a LONG time to
answer all her questions in writing. I plan to reserve some platters and
the fondu thing tomorrow. I'm finished with my portfolio now (unless they
say I have a ton more to do), and about 3/4 finished with my synthesis paper.
The research paper will have to wait until tomorrow for any more work, and
I can't finish it until Sunday or Monday since the lady doing the transcription
is not finished yet!!!
Love you. Hope your day went well. Things are great here. The sun is shining, the grass is green, the shop/bike hostel is going well...things are great!
|Allison - We need to send an invitation to the Kostenkos - Jared's grandparents.
Vanice taught both Aaron and Rachel piano, and of course she's related to
us. She mentioned something about not getting an invitation to Grandma,
I guess, so we need to send her one. I just called her and got her address.
Here it is:
Harold and Vanice Kostenko
19584 Orchard Lane.
Lenore, ID 83501
Thanks, dear girl. Talk to you later.
I already sent one to them (Grandpa called me and I got the address from
Grandma). But did we actually send an invitation to Jered's family? I
don't remember! Maybe we ought to check into that, too! I'm actually
almost all out, I might have one or two more left. Oh, well. We could
recycle the ones that came back in the mail to whom we don't have the
correct address... At some point we'll have to stop sending them,
though, maybe after the wedding? He he he.
Love you lots. I sent you a graduation announcement. Talk to you
|Allison - here's what I have so far for accommodations for the attendants,
etc., for the wedding. I have other arrangements for our house and for the
Hosey's house. I'm working on a master plan for where everyone will stay.
Will this work? What about Calista and Rachel Fuchs - and Kate Lewis? I
figured on 3/room in the bike hostel (if they are single people), but we
could squeeze more in if needed. Also, if Patrick stays up there, someone
could use his room down here at the house.
Excel spreadsheet for reception: initial